I like this page, because I know there are very few people who read it, and so if I choose, I can say things on here that I'm either not willing or ready to put out for myspace consumption.
So, it's kind of like confession. Baring in mind of course that I'm not, nor have I ever been Catholic, which given the context of this blog is probably a good thing, because the content of the blog, and the actions that inspired it pretty much put me on a fast track train headed straight for hell.
Woo Woo!! (that's the slutty train, in case you were wondering)
So, hello to the two people I know are reading this for sure, and since one of you asked for the story and the other is currently staying in my house, I think it may at least be mildly interesting, or at least a good way to waste 3.6 minutes. (It's not going to be a long blog, and since I know my friends can read real good...)
I'm tired, so don't expect too much.
I have not had sex since June 27 2007.
That's not a record for me, I once went almost three years, but it's still a sucky ass long time to go, and "those" feelings have been creeping up on me for the last week or so.
Now I suppose it could be because I went on the date with the oil and lube boy *snicker* from my new job last week and we kissed but did not "consummate" the new relationship, which is weird for me, because I like to get the sex part out of the way early, you know, in case it sucks, I don't want to be tooo invested, or it could be that ever since I turned 35, I have been somewhat insatiable where my sexual appetite is concerned. Or it could be that I finally feel my heart recovering from the thrashing the last person I was with gave it, and I'm ready to get back on the horse (not that I like that kind of thing you understand)
God, could this take any longer you ask?
Fuck off, I'm getting there.
Yesterday was a boring ass day at work to begin with, I managed to be completely ineffective at the time management thing and got all of my work done by noon, and it didn't help that O&L boy walked by my office all 6 foot 5 inches of yumminess that he is and blew me a kiss, but about half way through the day, I was fairly sliding off my chair thinking about climbing up onto the mountain of a man and..well...claiming the land in the name of Canada to put it politely.
Because I am not supposed to "fraternise" with the mechanics, and workplace politics demand that our relationship stay away from the workplace, I couldn't just go up to him and tell him to meet me in the bathroom so I could bang his brains out against the sink, could I?
So instead, I oh so very subtly suggested that he meet me in the closet off the parts department for a little kissin' and gropin'.
He was amenable to this arrangement, and we agreed to meet up in 20 minutes.
Unfortunately, he was called to actually go do some work, so all I got was a quick smooch and a bit of an ass grab, but he said that he would drive me over the bridge after work (which is at least part of my bus from hell commute) and I said "groovy" figuring that traffic might at least allow for a little more..um...kissing.
I was finished before him, and I'm not sure if it was while I waited or when I got into the car and could smell his sweaty work scent (I loooove that smell. A man who has laboured all day is like one giant pheromone to me) but at some point before we drove out of the auto mall I told him.
" I want your cock in my mouth"
Not very subtle, but fuck it. I wanted what I wanted.
"Drive up that dead end street" I told him.
Of course we never made it to the end of the street, cause I had that boy out of his pants and in my mouth before he turned left.
There is something so filthy about any sexual act that is performed in a semi public place, and it is made sexier by the fact that you might get caught.
Whether it was that, or the length of time, or the need, or that I am really attracted to this guy, I don't know.
But this was no varsity blow job.
I went all pro on this one, baby.
If talent scouts from pornos had seen me, Jenna Jamieson would be out of a job today.
Suffice to say, he was done pretty damn quick.
I would like to think it was my mad skillz and not the fact that he hasn't gotten any in the last 6 months or so.
So I'm going to go with that and end here, mostly because the witty ending I had planned has died along with my sleep deprived brain.
I will, however, have a hard time not yelling "ROAD HEAD RULEZ!!" when I see him this morning.